Ph34r Teh Squirr3l Ones
By Dwip August 9, 2005, 9:10 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

Suzanne: Also! on this subject! Interesting coincidence: wed. last week my co-worker and I were attacked by a baby squirrel. Then the very next day at work I found a rabbit skeleton.

Me: Drat. You’ve discovered the squirrel-rabbit zombie conspiricy. You must be destroyed!

Suzanne: Really, the baby squirrel was almost unbearbly cute

Me: It’s a stealth mechanism. You say “Oh! How cute!” And you reach down to pet it, and it runs up your arm and rips your throat out.

Fear the baby squirrel assassins.

Suzanne: This one must’ve been a rookie. All he did was run in front of the car, and then when we stopped and got out to see if we hit it, sniffed our shoes.

Me: Hrm.

We’ll have to up the conditioning, and finish with the artificial body and the weapons training.

Suzanne: I think mere weapons training may suffice

Me: No, we’ve gotta do the conditioning and the artificial body. Then I can do Gunslinger Girl, except with baby squirrels.

Suzanne: heh. ph34r teh b4by squirr3ls

Suzanne: Picture and Other Picture

Me: My assassins are indeed unbearably cute. This is good.

Suzanne: lookit his head! he was so overbalanced and clumsy he actually ran into Jessie’s shoe. You need better applicant screening.

Me: He was planting the tracking bug. It was an act.

Suzanne: He also tried to get run over. But I’m sure that was just an act, as well.

Me: Planted a car bomb when you weren’t looking.

Suzanne: and the rabbit zombie, I suppose, is going to infiltrate…my garage?

Me: Yes! And then it’s going to use its way cool ninja moves to take over your house.

Suzanne: Even when it’s head is soaking in a container of hydrogen peroxide?

Me: It’s a zombie. Like that can hurt it.

Suzanne: it would be very easy for one rabbit zombie ninja to take over my house… it’s very small, (have i mentioned this?) and there’s only one way in or out… …but maybe I shouldn’t tell you these things.

Me: He’s going to start a fire in the doorway.

Suzanne: So. To recap: a rabbit zombie/ninja is going to try to pull some small forest animal assasin shit on my turf.

sigh. I’d best get some sleep then. Need plenty of rest for the battle ahead.

Me: Likely. Rabbit zombie ninjas are pretty tough.


Humor, Small Forest Animals Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post
Comments on Ph34r Teh Squirr3l Ones
avatar Comment by Regina #1
August 11, 2005 at 6:33 am

I’m surprised you aren’t also recruiting chipmunks. They’re as cute and snall as baby squirrels, and as fast as full-grown ones.

avatar Comment by Whir #2
August 11, 2005 at 7:45 am

Chipmunks are the annoying little cousins with no social graces of squirrels. No one would recruit them for anything. You have much to learn.

avatar Comment by Tim #3
August 14, 2005 at 9:41 am

So Chipmunks are the Kobolds of forest creature society?

And thanks for making my day with the transcript.