Vintage Entertainment
By Dwip September 2, 2005, 5:21 pm Comments Off on Vintage Entertainment RSS Feed for this post

Harking back to the mechanized days of yore, I was digging around in my Trillian message archives looking for something totally different, and found this old conversation of Cole’s and mine:

[01:58] Dwip: Time to jot that down on the list, along with the 9×9 volcano map.
[01:58] Dwip: I mean, not that we’ll ever PLAY on a 9×9 volcano map, but it would be kind of cool.
[01:58] Clyos: 9×9 volcano map? ummm….. that’s a little out of control you realize, we’d need like ww2 shufflboard sticks for that
[01:59] Dwip: Er, 3×3
[01:59] Dwip: 9×9. Aeeyah.
[01:59] Clyos: ok, 3×3 i can handle
[01:59] Dwip: I can’t even comprehend a 9×9 map game.
[02:00] Dwip: Like, it’s the entire mech battle for Middle Earth, on 1:1 scale.
[02:00] Dwip: Why Middle Earth? I have no idea.
[02:00] Clyos: because honestly you can’t call yourself the King of Gondor without the Awesome 9Q
[02:01] Clyos: and sam and frodo could have Hussars
[02:01] Dwip: No way, man. You’ve read the books. It takes them FOREVER to get across Mordor. Urbanmechs for sure.
[02:02] Clyos: urbanmechs, good choice
[02:02] Dwip: Boromir gets the Loki.
[02:02] Clyos: cause he’s awesome, but he dies easy
[02:02] Dwip: Exactly.
[02:02] Dwip: Maybe the Vulture.
[02:02] Clyos: Gimli gets….. the Berserker
[02:02] Dwip: Yah.
[02:03] Dwip: Legolas gets…the Viking?
[02:03] Clyos: Legolas nah, something faster
[02:03] Dwip: Hrm.
[02:03] Clyos: yeoman?
[02:03] Dwip: Not the ‘pult…
[02:03] Dwip: Don’t remember the Yeoman.
[02:03] Clyos: pair of LRM 20’s or 15’s or something
[02:04] Clyos: what is that little thing that has like 80 missile racks for the clans
[02:04] Dwip: Yeoman’s really slow.
[02:04] Clyos: the Owens?
[02:05] Dwip: Nah, the Owens blows. Maybe a Trebuchet.
[02:06] Dwip: It’s that or an LRM Thor.
[02:06] Dwip: Thor E. Here we go.
[02:06] Dwip: ATM 12, ATM 6, ERPPC.
[02:06] Clyos: how fast?
[02:07] Dwip: 5/8/5
[02:07] Dwip: I can’t really think of any fast support mechs off top of my head. Well, the Cougar, but it sucks.
[02:07] Clyos: better, the Ryoken D
[02:08] Clyos: 2 LRM 20’s, 2 SRM 2’s and it moves 6/9
[02:08] Dwip: Was trying to get it to jump, but sure.
[02:09] Dwip: And Merry and Pippen get something on order of the 3050 Ostscout.
[02:09] Clyos: and they use broken charging rules?
[02:10] Dwip: Or something.
[02:10] Clyos: we could mod them out with hatchets
[02:10] Dwip: Because, well, they don’t do a whole lot.
[02:10] Dwip: Locusts with swords.
[02:10] Clyos: just give them Gurkas and call it a day
[02:10] Dwip: Which, now that I think about it, would be hilarious.
[02:11] Clyos: Gandalf needs…… something….. majestic
[02:11] Dwip: Like the Daishi? :P
[02:11] Clyos: more like the masakari
[02:11] Dwip: Or that.
[02:12] Clyos: not that it matters which mod i pick
[02:12] Dwip: I think the B is the really good one.
[02:12] Clyos: none of them really suck, i mean you could run your entire clan off of masakaris
[02:12] Dwip: The C rather.
[02:13] Dwip: Yes.
[02:13] Dwip: Although I’d run my entire clan off something like the Thor.
[02:13] Clyos: heh, i’d pick the Mad Cat myself
[02:13] Dwip: Doesn’t jump.
[02:13] Clyos: it can
[02:14] Dwip: And Theoden shows up in…the 3025 Charger.
[02:14] Clyos: heh, nah, theodin doesn’t suck that bad
[02:14] Dwip: Because he’s pretty freaking useless.
[02:14] Dwip: Obviously Denethor gets a Firestarter.
[02:15] Clyos: heh, because well, incinerating stuff is his thing
[02:15] Dwip: Exactly.
[02:15] Dwip: And Faramir shows up in a Javalin. Being as how he’s the Trooper Boy of Middle Earth.
[02:15] Clyos: yeah, yeah he does
[02:16] Dwip: And we’ll give Eowyn… the Liao Cataphract with stealth armor.
[02:16] Clyos: Arawyn gets….. ummm…… a Verfolger, and gets hit location bonuses for hitting the head?
[02:16] Clyos: welll, however you spell her damn name
[02:16] Dwip: Actually, that’s what Theoden gets. The Cataphract.
[02:17] Clyos: cause it sucks, just not so bad that it never sees action
[02:17] Dwip: Exactly.
[02:17] Dwip: Although the Liao one isn’t bad.
[02:17] Clyos: it’s not good either
[02:17] Dwip: It’s really hard to go wrong with stealth armor and gauss rifles.
[02:18] Clyos: Sauron gets a Leviathan, Warship Mod
[02:18] Dwip: Witness the totally awesome mech Clara Parks has.
[02:18] Dwip: heh
[02:18] Dwip: Yeah.
[02:18] Dwip: Gollum’s got a modded out Locust with RLs and stealth armor.
[02:18] Clyos: but unfortunately he is still weak to the alamo missiel
[02:18] Clyos: heh, because that has style
[02:19] Dwip: And Saruman’s got…like the 3025 Banshee. He sucks.
[02:19] Clyos: yeah, he does
[02:19] Dwip: OTOH, all the orcs drive Hatchetmen.
[02:19] Clyos: and the riders of rohan get… the blitzkrieg?
[02:20] Dwip: 3025 Cataphracts.
[02:20] Dwip:
[02:20] Clyos: no, no, no, the name doesn’t matter
[02:20] Dwip: Ok, so the No-Dachi or something.
[02:20] Dwip: No Dachi maybe.
[02:20] Clyos: ooh, Hunchbacks modded with swords
[02:20] Dwip: Or that.
[02:21] Clyos: the elves get….. the Hollander
[02:21] Dwip: Yes, yes they do.
[02:21] Dwip: And everyone in Gondor gets…something craptastic.
[02:21] Dwip: Because they sure do get womped on a lot.
[02:22] Clyos: nah, they live through it. though, so they are tough, they get the 3025 enforcer
[02:22] Dwip: Arright. I guess it had to go to somebody.
[02:22] Dwip: Grima gets an Agromech.
[02:22] Clyos: and Elrond….. he gets…… the Mackie, because he’s that old
[02:23] Dwip: Heh.
[02:23] Dwip: What about, um…elf chick. Blanking on name. Lorien. Has ring.
[02:23] Dwip: Galadriel.
[02:23] Clyos: yeah, well, she doesn’t do shit either
[02:23] Dwip: This is true.
[02:24] Clyos: so she can have….. the Kraken
[02:24] Dwip: The ferret scout VTOL.
[02:24] Clyos: rofl
[02:24] Clyos: and Urukai get Axemen instead of hatchetmen
[02:25] Dwip: Aff.
[02:25] Dwip: And the phant guys get Goliaths.
[02:25] Clyos: defintly
[02:26] Dwip: And the undead get…Clantech modded No Dachis with stealth armor and C3i.
[02:26] Dwip: Or something similar.
[02:26] Clyos: because….. well, they kick everybodiy’s ass
[02:26] Dwip: Exactly.
[02:27] Dwip: Ack. We’ve run out of people.
[02:27] Clyos: yeah, we are
[02:27] Dwip: And since I just realized I need to be awake in 8 hours, I think that’s good.


Well, I was amused.


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