Phone Boothing
By Dwip July 24, 2008, 7:58 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

Despite my general aversion to this sort of thing, but because it’s so utterly me, and because I was encouraged to, let us play a little game. Suppose, for a moment, that you have a phone booth. With this phone booth, you will travel through time, collecting 8 historical figures to help you deliver your oral report on their time periods, and to help review the world of San Dimas, 2008. (And yes, I’m talking about what is now a 20 year old movie. Oi.)

In the original film, these 8 were:

1. Napoleon
2. Billy the Kid
3. Socrates
4. Sigmund Freud
5. Beethoven
6. Joan of Arc
7. Genghis Khan
8. Abraham Lincoln

Now as for my list, well…I’ll play things interesting and stick to rough time periods and/or roles, just for kicks.

1. Tokugawa Ieyasu

I should probably have this be Magua for the sheer in-joke potential, but I’ll go with Tokugawa, because he’s pretty Nappy-like in his way – fantastic general, one of the most amazing politicians of all time, and…oh, hey, he WON.

2. William Tecumseh Sherman

Who isn’t an outlaw, but IS of the appropriate era, and happens to be a thoroughly tough but well-spoken sort of a guy. Having read his book, I imagine he’d be excellent to talk to.

3. Lucius Cornelius Sulla

Not A Philosopher, but he’d be a hoot, if he and Tokugawa didn’t kill each other.

4. Mark Twain

Philosophers, meh. But Twain, now. He’s the kind of writer a guy can really get behind. Also I have the ulterior motive of wanting to read his book on how my raft of historical figures plays together.

5. Elvis Presley

Because musically I am not my father. And because the reaction by everyone else in the audience would be priceless.

6. Akhenaten

Because let’s go for some interesting religious fervor here. Sun worship! Egyptians! Deformed heads! You can’t go wrong!

7. Tiglath-Pilesar I

Because if you want some seriously hard, chariot-riding dudes in the vein of Khan, you gotta get yourself an Assyrian.

8. George Washington

Because seriously, honestly, I REALLY want to hear his review of the world of San Dimas 2008. Because I think it would be incredibly interesting to see one of our forefathers pass judgement on us. That’s probably not the word most people would use, but I am me, so.

Honorable Mention: Thomas Jefferson, Heraclius, Marcus Aurelius, Gaius Marius, Frederick Douglass, Vo Nguyen Giap, Hatshepsut, Queen Elizabeth I, V.I. Lenin, Julius Caesar.

Do feel free to share via comments.

History and Politics Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post
Comments on Phone Boothing
avatar Comment by Clyos #1
July 28, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Umm… you require William the Conqueror. Because he totally pwns. William Wallace, for the same reason.

avatar Comment by cyborgsuzy #2
July 29, 2008 at 12:42 pm

I second George Washington and Elizabeth I and word-up to the Assyrians, but I didn’t know any of them by name.


Montezuma II AND Cortez (would definitely need seperate rooms in the booth and/or sedation)

avatar Comment by Dwip #3
July 29, 2008 at 1:02 pm

I almost threw in Monty, but my reading of him is that he was just a little too “Durr…wha?” to be useful as a commenter. But there are other Aztecs. Ahuizotl, maybe. IIRC Monty I wasn’t too much of a slouch.

The Aztecs vs Cortez matchup would be pretty great, however.

I am a William the Conqueror fan, to be sure.

Hannibal plus any given Roman would be a fun matchup.

Eight various religion founders would be a lot of fun as well. Christ on the world of San Dimas 2008 especially.