Only Clerics Can Start Forest Fires
By Dwip July 10, 2011, 2:28 pm Comments (7) RSS Feed for this post

So, to recap, my D&D party is:

Akuan, a 7+ foot tall goliath barbarian;
Davoren, human farmer priest/wizard of Helm the Watcher;
Gar Rotte, human thief;
Lord X, human paladin of Helm on a religious mission to protect Davoren;
Oscar the Magnicifent, halfling wizard, follower of Talos the Stormlord, and legend in his own mind;
Sancho, elven bard currently following Lord X and taking note of his crazy and somewhat unwise actions.

When we last left them, they were somewhat on the sideways part of being on the outskirts of in the middle of the module A2 Secret of the Slavers’ Stockade, having somewhat riled Icar and various other rather strange yet heroic feats.

Oscar, sometimes the Magnificent, is currently hiding under an orc housewife’s bed in the middle of the fortress, being used as Oscar the Magnificent Cat Plaything.

Akuan, Gar, and Sancho, having variously escaped from the fortress, are currently running like mad from the fortress in order to meet up with

Lord X, Davoren, Yvette Tanislove, and apparently Akuan’s two goats, Oscar’s riding dog, and some misc. horses.

While Oscar continues to hide out under the bed, the rest of the group & asstd. goats, dogs, &c gallop off over hill and dale, which was perhaps a wise move because they were being chased by some 80+ hobgoblins in 4 groups. Eventually, they come to the top of a forested hill, notice that 20 of said hobgoblins are tracking them, and hatch a plan, which goes like this:

Hobgoblins: *come tracking up to the edge of the woods and get halfway in*

Party: *having looped around, suddenly charge from the flank*

Akuan: *does a crazy William Wallace-like charge with his greatsword, cleaving two hobgoblins in half pretty much first thing*

Sancho: *casts a 10 foot by 10 foot grease spell right over top of the hobgoblin cleric (Adhu Nazaryet, if you’re keeping track in A2 at home), just in time for…*

Lord X: *charges forth on his paladin warhorse, crashing right into Adhu Nazaryet and doing grievous amounts of damage with his sword. Since the entire area is greased, Adhu basically flies dozens of feet from the impact + slip and slide, and goes prone. Lord X, landing smack in the middle of the grease, manages to make an epic ride check to stay upright, and continues the charge, trampling straight over the barely concious Adhu, who expires*

Davoren: *rides up, casts a burning hands spell on some hobgoblins, catches a bit of the grease patch, and starts a little bit of a fire*

Sancho: *casts a grease spell on top of Davoren’s hobgoblins. Since it borders the other grease, it too catches on fire. Since it’s halfway into the trees, the trees in a dry climate at the end of June, those catch on fire too*

Various fighting occurs. The hobgoblin subchief and his pet boggle (a small blue monkeyish creature) run up and start beating on Sancho. Akuan sees this, runs into the forest and up to save the day, narrowly avoiding being incenerated by the advancing forest fire. The remaining hobgoblins are dispatched with some rapidity, leaving the party wondering what to do next and Lord X picking up the body of Adhu and shaking it down for clues before tossing it across his saddlebags. So far as I know, he never actually got rid of it, so remember to include a trampled, beat up, greasy dead hobgoblin cleric in your mental image of what happens later.

Forest ablaze behind them, the party (goats, dog, Yvette, &c) flees and finds a spot to make camp.

Meanwhile, back in the fortress, Oscar finds an opportune moment to cease being Oscar the Magnificent Cat Toy and decides to get a promotion to Oscar the Magnificent Sneaking Halfling. He makes it out of the orc room and, sneaking down the hall, manages to find a storeroom, then somebody’s quarters. It’s got a big bed, so he decides to hide under that bed.

[Off camera, the other hobgoblins eventually track their way to the forest fire, find the butchered remains of their strongest group, basically say “Screw this!” and come back to the fort]

Later that night, the door to Oscar’s hideout opens to admit an ogre (A2’s Executioner), who goes to bed. Oscar decides that being Oscar the Magnificent Arcane Assassin sounds good, rolls out from under the bed, and casts shocking grasp (with acid instead of electricity) right on Executioner’s face, killing him instantly and melting his face off.

Executioner clearly wasn’t the main leader, but had a pretty sweet hood, so Oscar grabs that and starts sneaking his way back towards the kitchen. He finds a couple of orc barracks but leaves them alone, then finds a goblin and kobold barracks with a bunch of goblins and kobolds watching a halfling slave fighting a badger. Oscar, not being into the whole racial brotherhood thing, sneaks back out, and then into the big kitchen area, narrowly avoiding a patrol.

He starts trying doors. First door turns out to be where the wereboars sleep. They have a pet boar, which oinks and runs about and wakes up the wereboars, but Oscar hides in some barrels and isn’t discovered. He tries another door, which turns out to be Icar’s chambers. Since the acid thing worked so well last time, he walks up to Icar and drops a scorching ray spell (with acid instead of fire) into his eyes, melting Icar’s head off. Then he loots the place, finding (among other things) some keys. Since there’s a locked closet there, he opens it up…

…and narrowly makes a Fortitude save to avoid being instantly turned to stone by Icar’s pet medusa. After a hearty “OH CRAP!” he solves the issue with another acid ray spell, one-shot killing the medusa. He snags the head and a ludicrous amount of treasure, then makes for the exit, sneaking through the hobgoblin barracks upstairs, out the door and onto the roof, then using a rope to climb up and over the wall, and finally making a leap across the ditch (most useless ditch ever? Signs point to yes…). He goes back to the old party camp, curls up in his cloaker cloak, and rests.

The next morning, Akuan tracks down Oscar and comes back to the party about the time that Lord X decides that enough is enough and rides straight up to the gates of the fortress and challenges somebody, anybody, to single combat and/or information about where they can find Lady Gilda Tanislove. The hobgoblins shoot some arrows, which doesn’t really bother Lord X (who has 22 AC, meaning the hobgoblins need to roll a 20 to hit), who stands there continuing to bellow challenges while the party watches from the treeline.

Eventually a roving hobgoblin patrol comes up and surrounds Lord X, and its leader (Gorbin Stalworth) comes up. He’s not really into fighting Lord X, but does say that perhaps somebody inside can tell him what’s going on, and brblol. Lord X waits impatiently, staring down the surrounding twenty hobgoblins, who act pretty intimidated.

Gorbin declines to show back up, but a big man with robes and a greatsword (Blackthorn) and a goblin shaman woman (Gulyet) come out. Blackthorn attempts to charm Lord X (as if) and starts a fight. Despite most of the hobgoblins being too intimidated to fight and Gulyet being totally useless, Blackthorn is actually winning until the rest of the party shows up. Oscar drops an acid ball that obliterates the remaining hobgoblins (minus a couple who flee in terror), followed by Akuan, who charges and eviscerates Gulyet. Blackthorn, heavily wounded by the acid ball (went right through his spell resistance) went down to Lord X’s warhorse.

[DM thinking here: “Hey, Blackthorn is hurt. I should cone of cold, then fly away.” “Well, I hope he survives Lord X’s hors…oh well. Time to start giving the enemies more HP in the future.”]

Seeing the destruction of most of the remaining leaders, Gorbin comes back out and offers to tell the party how to follow the Underdark tunnels to Suderham. Party decides this is a great idea, and has Gorbin lead them to a cave nearby where they can enter the Underdark. Deciding they really want a guide, Akuan grapples Gorbin into submission so that somebody can slap some masterwork manacles on him (yes, they have these for some reason. Don’t ask me why).

Guide somewhat in hand, they spend a day resting before continuing further. For those of you keeping track at home, something like 75% of A2 has just been circumvented. Rather a lot of slaves still languish in slaver dungeons.

Dungeons and Dragons Comments (7) Trackback URL for this post RSS Feed for this post
Comments on Only Clerics Can Start Forest Fires
avatar Comment by Gormican #1
July 10, 2011 at 11:55 pm

A few things to note….Forest fires are awesome…..Since when does one good swing count as “Winning the fight?” …….while I admit that the Horse is probably the best warrior in the group Blackthorn actually died to the spiked edge of a shield going through his skull……..In Lord X’s defense he’s been fighting evil doers for 2 months the horse has been at it for 15 years and they have virtually the same IQ.

avatar Comment by Dwip #2
July 11, 2011 at 5:38 am

1. Since you missed and he did a bunch of damage to you. From his perspective, things were looking up. Until they weren’t.

2. Could’ve sworn it was the horse, but you just kind of rolled the attack, so.

Also, I have been informed that it’s actually Aukan, and there are three goats, not two. This changes everything.

avatar Comment by Samson #3
July 11, 2011 at 6:10 pm

No no, skipping 75% of your potential experience and loot is wrong! You people need to go back and fix this!

avatar Comment by Gordzilla #4
July 12, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Yes getting my name right and having 3 goats does change everything. I should also inform you Aukan is 8+ feet tall. Bigger than a troll lolololol.

avatar Comment by Gormican #5
July 12, 2011 at 8:42 pm

I played Oblivion straight through without side quests……..
yes there are 3 goats and they will be delicious……
No one told us that it’s the party’s duty to single handedly assault castles and free the worlds slaves…..
We were told to rescue Lady Tanislove and that’s what were going to do…
X totally coulda defeated that entire group by himself which woulda been more epic but Aukan is obsessed with chopping people up….

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