Continuing My Presidential Winning Streak
By Dwip April 27, 2015 at 6:38 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

This continues our series on this subject begun here. The thing about Cards Against Humanity, you’ve got to be funny, but you’ve got to know your audience. Thus, in a room full of Republicans, can there be any other winning card in this set than “Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.” ? I think not. The management would like to take this time to remind you that it voted for Obama and believes in his policies. But you gotta do what you gotta do, man.


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Bunnies In Darkness
By Dwip October 24, 2014 at 10:52 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

I was told to go take a picture of bunnies in the dark. Here you are. Don’t say I never do anything for you.


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This Seemed Obligatory
By Dwip August 3, 2014 at 1:55 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

It’s way harder to get an appropriate Panda Bond image than you might think.


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Idiosyncratic Humor
By Dwip July 31, 2014 at 8:40 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

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Some People Don’t Believe In the Rabbit Shrine
By Dwip April 5, 2014 at 8:28 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

But this thing exists. Believe.


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Sometimes You Have To Go With the Winning Play
By Dwip December 27, 2013 at 1:21 pm Comments (6) RSS Feed for this post

So, a couple of things about last night’s Cards Against Humanity game: 1. Such an incredibly strong set of plays for that one. Even the random card (erectile dysfunction) wasn’t bad for being a random play. 2. Yeah, that was me, the only guy in the room who voted for Obama, playing “The violation of our most basic human rights.” For the win, if not what I believe to be the literal truth. 3. Why? Because it’s hilarious, that’s why.


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Obligatory Ninja Rabbit Fighting Video
By Dwip August 18, 2013 at 12:15 am Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

I have to post these, it’s in my contract. This is all Samson’s fault.


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Sound Advice
By Dwip June 20, 2013 at 12:07 am Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

I swear I’m not dead, the plotting of heavy oak furniture notwithstanding. Just very busy.


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Apropos of Daleks
By Dwip April 17, 2013 at 6:38 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

Ah, Dalek humor.


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Death By Tray It Shall Be
By Dwip March 29, 2013 at 11:43 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

It has come to my attention that there are apparently people I know who haven’t seen this yet. So.


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#TechArmor
By Dwip March 16, 2013 at 9:02 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Inside jokes are the best jokes.


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The Logical Extension of the Bunnies of Catan Meme
By Dwip December 29, 2012 at 12:20 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

This is what mom got the family for Christmas. I think my work here is probably done.


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Shepard. Wrex.
By Dwip November 29, 2012 at 12:27 am Comments (8) RSS Feed for this post

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Physical Graffiti
By Dwip July 31, 2012 at 8:31 pm Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

So, this NSFW but kind of hilarious list of Roman graffiti from Pompeii is pretty great, though a lot of it depends on the tone of the translation. h/t Andrew Sullivan


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How Bricks Are Made
By Dwip June 8, 2012 at 10:31 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Thanks to Jason’s art skills:


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When You Gaze Long At The Bunny, The Bunny Also Gazes At You
By Dwip May 21, 2012 at 1:03 am Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

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The Author, Circa 1991
By Dwip May 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm Comments (8) RSS Feed for this post

…totally about to carrot murder some fools. This is all by way of mentioning that Mom and I went through a few piles of random stuff she kept from my grade school years. Where “A few piles” actually means “kind of a lot of piles” and “stuff she kept” means “every single assignment I ever did, except for the ones that died, unlamented, in my high school locker.” Seriously, whole boxes of this stuff, including that rarest of things: actual assignments done during my 6th grade year. Many was the time where I was heard to exclaim “When did that even happen? That existed?” Also, how many trees died in the vain attempt to teach me managable cursive, cursive I […]


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Join My Quest For Cheetah
By Dwip May 2, 2012 at 4:31 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

We searched all through the land…


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Anticlimax Cheetah Waits In Vain For His Swimming Pool Of Gladiators
By Dwip April 29, 2012 at 11:55 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

In which it must be said that you enter gladiatorial combat with the cheetah you have, not the cheetah you wish you had.


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People Keep Asking Me What’s Going On This Weekend, So…
By Dwip April 26, 2012 at 9:51 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

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Re: Last Night’s Settlers of Catan Game
By Dwip April 9, 2012 at 6:32 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

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Concerning Rabbits
By Dwip February 9, 2012 at 7:27 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

It’s somewhat astonishing that I’ve never got around to mentioning this before now, considering the blog title, but: Somewhat randomly via this, I’m pretty amused that this Wikipedia page is a thing that exists. Money quote: The animal was clearly in distress, or perhaps berserk. The President confessed to having had limited experience with enraged rabbits. He was unable to reach a definite conclusion about its state of mind. What was obvious, however, was that this large, wet animal, making strange hissing noises and gnashing its teeth, was intent upon climbing into the Presidential boat. The See Also section is pretty great too.


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There Can Be No Escape From Lego Pirate Ship Halftrack
By Dwip November 7, 2011 at 1:18 am Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

I seem to be missing a few of my Legos somewhere. Meh. Somewhere, somehow, my nine year old self is jumping up and down and cheering.


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Straight Outta Lolwut
By Dwip October 12, 2011 at 8:25 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

So, perhaps you’ve heard NWA’s Straight Outta Compton. Since most of you have even less appreciation for gangsta rap than I do (which isn’t high), maybe you haven’t. The contrast to this is pretty hilarious, though:


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Roman Mutant Ninja Turtles
By Dwip May 22, 2011 at 2:33 am Comments (8) RSS Feed for this post

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Lego Tanks
By Dwip April 19, 2011 at 8:49 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

So, Levi linked me to a YouTube video of some guy’s Lego Starcraft tank: That’s pretty cool, and I’d love to know how he’s doing the articulation. Lego’s come a long way since I was a kid. However, I wish to note that my Lego tank, while somewhat more rudimentary, does contain pirates: Also, legopiratetank.jpg may be my awesomest filename ever.


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Waiting On Very Slow Software: A Photographic Essay
By Dwip December 2, 2010 at 8:44 pm Comments (6) RSS Feed for this post

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Victory Through Airpower
By Dwip November 29, 2010 at 10:34 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

Via Andrew Sullivan, this animated Walt Disney movie from 1943 is totally awesome. Little red animated tanks? Check. Giant swastika factories? Check. Brick throwing? Check. Bald eagles beating the crap out of a knife-wielding octopus? Most definitely check. Totally worth your hour.


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In Your Heart You Always Knew What Had To Happen Here
By Dwip October 22, 2010 at 6:46 am Comments (10) RSS Feed for this post

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This, Yes
By Dwip September 13, 2010 at 2:30 am Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

As something of a prelude to my next post:


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A Brief Note Regarding Humorous Utterances
By Dwip August 7, 2010 at 9:14 pm Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

You may by now have noticed the new quote up top, which harks back to this incident from 2008. I have furthermore just had the following exchange: [21:01] serenadingwords: Were we talking about anything? [21:03] Dwip: Yes. [21:03] Dwip: The sociopolitical impacts of squirrel aliens on the countries of 17th century Asia. [21:03] serenadingwords: The sociopolitical impact of squirrel aliens… [21:03] serenadingwords: DAMMIT YOU TYPED FASTER Which is a reprise of an exchange from 2005. Which then brings to mind this exchange, which I think says everything that needs to be said, since anything more would be seriously unfunny: [23:24] Dwip: Back when we were funny, &c. [23:25] Dwip: I’ve saying that about roughly 3 years in the past for […]


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I’m No Fan Of the 19th Century…
By Dwip May 11, 2010 at 1:08 am Comments (0) RSS Feed for this post

But the writing had a certain flair to it. Quoth the New York Times of 3/28/1860: Mr. DARWIN’s mode of accounting for the diversity of the specific forms of organic life, differs alike from the doctrine of LAMARCK, (who made transmutation to depend mainly upon the efforts of the animal,) and from the hypothesis of the author of the Vestiges (who found the solution of the problem in the idea of consecutive development.) It differs also, let us say, in having for its basis some undeniable facts. Too, as I have oft lamented to Sarah, we have lost a certain flair for naming seen in days of yore, and please do persue that comment thread for more on the subject, […]


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Unrealized Perils of the American Revolution
By Dwip March 15, 2010 at 6:00 pm Comments (8) RSS Feed for this post

Via Andrew Sullivan, we have this, which tells us that among other things, our forefathers apparently ran the risk of having to fight large cats on sinking rowboats in storms while dual wielding a cutlass and a flag. (As to the actual post that image is attached to, Re: Texas textbook standards or lack thereof, I have no comment but *headdesk*)


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Because I Am Obligated By Law To Blog This
By Dwip December 9, 2009 at 10:04 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Click me! Also, since I totally forgot at the time, this is for the squirrel/anime crossover crowd. (chitter.  chitter chitter squeak squeak chitter squeak.)


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In Case You Thought I Might Not Do It
By Dwip September 1, 2009 at 3:18 am Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

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Too Good Not To Share
By Dwip July 30, 2009 at 11:09 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

Via James Fallows.


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Photographic Corrections
By Dwip July 22, 2009 at 10:11 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

Since it was pointed out to me that the previous post’s Obligatory Girl In Front Of Nice Natural And Man-Made Scenery, Thus Combining All Aspects of Human And Natural Beauty In This One Awesome Photograph Shot was, in fact, missing an aspect, I have corrected this thing. Don’t say I never listen.


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Those Wacky Japanese
By Dwip April 18, 2009 at 6:51 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

More coming, but for the moment I will protect my fragile internets by linking to you the following: Via Tor.com, we preview the coming cyborg apocalypse. My reaction – they named their company Cyberdyne? Really? Secondly, something for Samson. If I had known previously that my president was going to wield a lightsaber and fight Darth Vader…well, I voted for him anyway, so. For serious, peoples. The second link. Click it.


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Picking Up Your Room Could Save the World
By Dwip January 28, 2009 at 8:31 pm Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

Via here, a 1950s tale of 1950s societal conformity gone horribly…amusing.


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the_revenge_of_keyboard_death_sucks
By Dwip January 8, 2009 at 7:35 pm Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

click_me (and_click_this_if_you_missed_the_first_one)


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Dreaming
By Dwip January 7, 2009 at 12:06 am Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

In talking with Jason about his having repeated dreams about werewolves, never mind zombies, I made mention of the fact that I myself am pretty prone to having dreams about some pretty crazy shit. Since I tell Sarah about these, because they amuse her, I figured I may as well amuse the rest of you, too. So, quoted at (great, be warned) length from email: …I know I have strange dreams, but why did I have a dream about Jason and Brian running a rescue shelter for, get this, small dogs and poisonous snakes?  What’s the connection?  Why do we need rescue shelters for poisonous snakes?  The world wonders. Your guess is as good as mine. And, leaving aside that […]


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ObBears
By Dwip December 13, 2008 at 8:11 pm Comments Off on ObBears RSS Feed for this post

In random news, I appear to be 28. Quite tired today. Kind of figured that bit started at a slightly more advanced age, but then, I’ve always been a tad broken. Anyway, let’s quote some bear emails, in which Sarah is funny. From: Erik Subject: Now With 100% More Bears Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2008 01:42:36 To: Sarah http://www.thingsbearslove.com/ The boomboxes one is made of pure genius and win. From: Sarah Subject: Re: Now With 100% More Bears Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:06:57 To: Erik Faced with the rising popularity of the humor site www.thingsbearslove.com, the Ursine United Front (UUF) today released a statement. “While websites such as ‘Things Bears Love’ appear to be comical, their stereotyped pictures of […]


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As Regards Being Funny On the Internets
By Dwip December 6, 2008 at 1:22 pm Comments Off on As Regards Being Funny On the Internets RSS Feed for this post

[19:00] TontoMarius: The cheetah book abducted my brain. [19:00] serenadingwords: what?! [19:00] TontoMarius: I blame all of today on the cheetah book. [19:00] serenadingwords: …i should get you a shelf cheetah to match shelfcat. [19:01] serenadingwords: Link [19:02] TontoMarius: Total false advertising. [19:02] serenadingwords: oh? [19:02] TontoMarius: I expected like, cheetahs with pistons or something. [19:02] TontoMarius: internal combustion cheetahs [19:02] serenadingwords: Heh. [19:02] TontoMarius: with little nitrous injectors for MOAR SPEED Then, via Facebook: So, I dunno. I guess sometimes I get to be funny today, as opposed to back in the day? I think this is kind of a lie, but hey.


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Because It Had To Be Done
By Dwip November 4, 2008 at 10:23 am Comments Off on Because It Had To Be Done RSS Feed for this post

Because, as you may have surmised, sometimes geekery is a strange place. And even the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court is not immune to this. Not, mind you, that I am suggesting that said Chief Justice, in his non-cyborg state, actually drank the blood of small children. Rampant dickholery? Yes. Infantile vampirism? Not so much.


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Irreverancy
By Dwip November 1, 2008 at 7:29 pm Comments Off on Irreverancy RSS Feed for this post

By request: [19:22] serenadingwords: And now, it is time to read Plutarch’s Life of Marius! [19:22] TontoMarius: I can save you time. [19:23] serenadingwords: lol [19:24] serenadingwords: sounds good, but i feel i should read the plutarch just to have done it [19:25] TontoMarius: He shows up. He pwns some dudes. Some other dudes are like “Whoa, wtf. We must pwn you.” So he pwns them. So then everybody’s like “Shit guys shit, you need to go pwn these other guys rsn” and so he goes and pwns them. And everybody’s like “Dude, mad hax.” And then he kicks it for a while. And then these other guys leap out, and he’s like “Dude, I can pwn you with one […]


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In Which We Discuss The Future of 1930s Clothing
By Dwip June 13, 2008 at 9:08 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Via Flash Gordon: Friends don’t let friends dress like…well, any of these people, really. But Dr. Zharkoff, what were you thinking? This is just awesome.


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In Which Pandas Provide Amusement
By Dwip December 2, 2007 at 10:33 am Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

A video which people are calling “hilarious!” and “quite amusing, really.” In other news, winter is cold. And has snow. Sometimes together.


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Conceptual
By Dwip November 15, 2007 at 12:40 am Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

As Whir can attest, tonight was a pretty active night for my mind. Discuss, as you like, the following: 1. Plaid fire; 2. Space cheetahs; 3. Drow sleep poison as a hallucinogin; 4. Plaid treants; 5. Illithids with barbed tentacle arms; 6. The utility of halucinated-reality flutes as weapons. Keen readers will of course point out that plaid fire is hardly new, and they would be correct by about ten years. I am fairly certain that space cheetahs have not previously been concieved by mankind, however.


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Not Actually Homework
By Dwip October 1, 2007 at 7:48 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

Which I should be doing right this instant. However, first, some good old-fashioned IM quote action, showcasing our bizzareness to the Internets, which is after all why they exist. Well, one of the reasons why, anyway. [22:25] TontoMarius: I mean, as much fun as watching you pwn a bunch of Sims might be… [22:25] serenadingwords: lol [22:25] serenadingwords: I don’t pwn. I am a nice omnipotent deity to my characters. [22:25] TontoMarius: lol [22:26] TontoMarius: So you’ve never trapped them in swimming pools or made them pee themselves or any of that? [22:26] serenadingwords: Nope! [22:26] serenadingwords: I make them happy! [22:26] TontoMarius: Bright shiny happy people? [22:26] serenadingwords: Shiny happy people, holdin’ hands… [22:27] serenadingwords: (does it come as […]


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I, For One, Welcome Our New Air Conditioning Overlords
By Dwip June 28, 2007 at 11:02 pm Comments Off on I, For One, Welcome Our New Air Conditioning Overlords RSS Feed for this post

Which has nothing to do with anything other than I said I was going to use it as a post title, and I did. Because 87 degrees with high humidity? Just say no. Friends do not let friends experience this sort of thing, and where this leaves my friendship with Sarah, I don’t know. On the other hand, she took me to this comedy show at Yale a few months ago, and I’ve been telling a joke from that ever since. Well, she found a video of it, which you should watch, because OMFG. Also, I should note the whole Talks At Google thing, which is basically Google saying “Hey, awesome or important person, come talk to our people!” John […]


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Samurai Bears
By Dwip June 24, 2007 at 9:45 am Comments Off on Samurai Bears RSS Feed for this post

Because some insanity needs sharing with the world. [22:57] serenadingwords: *clutches my bear* I will take Yuki and her bear ON. [22:57] TontoMarius: “Bearfight!” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. [22:58] serenadingwords: Magical bear fight? [22:58] TontoMarius: It’s got more of a “bear vs guy with pocketknife” feel to it. [22:58] serenadingwords: Ew. [22:58] TontoMarius: Than “catfight”, which is, well, yes. [22:59] TontoMarius: Magical bears fighting would be like…care bears going apeshit with katanas. [22:59] serenadingwords: You just won today. [22:59] TontoMarius: Which, actually, I want to see that now. [22:59] serenadingwords: Ask Suzanne. :P [22:59] TontoMarius: *laugh* [23:00] serenadingwords: I’m still laughing, not least at the fact that katanas are like 4x the size of Care Bears. […]


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Pushing the Boundries of Reality
By Dwip May 12, 2007 at 7:31 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

[02:00] Whir: [neogeek] Well, not gaou, but the noise vampire dinosaurs make because it’s like sucking the blood out of consumers. Still trying to figure out what the sound would be though. [Mael] You’re not a vampire, or a dinosaur, or a vampire dinosaur. [neogeek] Of course not, it’s not a full moon tonight. [02:01] Dwip: Vampiric weredinosaur? [02:01] Whir: Don’t give him any ideas. [02:01] Dwip: I should stat one of those for D&D. [02:02] Dwip: Like, you walk into the cave and get assaulted by a pack of vampiric werevelociraptors. [02:02] Whir: Hm. [02:02] Whir: I bet you could do it with eTools. [02:02] Dwip: I’m sure I could. Well, it turns out that velociraptors in D&D are […]


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Return of the Jedi Rabbit
By Dwip January 18, 2007 at 2:00 pm Comments Off on Return of the Jedi Rabbit RSS Feed for this post

Actually this has little to do with Jedi or rabbits, but the title I wanted was too long. Suffer. The management would like to remind all of you to have a well January, which is definitely one of those “do as I say, not as I do” things, because I slept for like 12 hours earlier, and I’m not so sure I won’t do some more of that. Assuming I can breathe. Anyway. So the title I actually wanted was this quote from last night while Sarah and I were watching Last of the Mohicans: “I am Magua. I am angry. And you have Cheerios.” You maybe had to be there. Also the observation by Sarah that Last of the […]


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Transmission
By Dwip December 7, 2006 at 8:48 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

If you couldn’t tell already that I’m on a Joy Division kick, you should now. Because if you get a new album, and there isn’t a song on there that you want to listen to like 800 times in a row, there’s something wrong. Or is that just me? Also, in the continuing quotage saga: [21:49] PxcTNK: Your current “Witty Saying” is amazingly terrifying [21:50] TontoMarius: I know, that’s why I like it. [21:51] TontoMarius: Kind of evolved out of us both noticing that way too many people like rap music. [21:51] PxcTNK: I mean, it’s seriously going to give me nightmares for the next month. Or longer. [21:51] TontoMarius: way too many here, that is. [21:51] TontoMarius: Heh. [21:51] […]


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What’s Old Is New Again
By Dwip November 21, 2006 at 5:06 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

So Mom’s birthday was the 17th, and she calls me up, and she’s like “Dad got me a 40″ widescreen TV!” “Ooo,” I say. “Will it fit in my luggage when I come home?” So then she calls me last night, and we’re talking, and she says “Oh, you’ll never guess what our new pre-bedtime ritual is now.” “Er, no…” I say, wondering if there’s some goat sacrificing or something I just wasn’t aware of for 25 years. “We’ve been playing Mario!” “Mario. Like, original NES, Mario 1? That Mario?” “Yeah! With the coins, and the plants that eat you!” “That’s too awesome.” I say. Because there’s something highly amusing about my parents hooking up games from my 1980s childhood […]


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Winning the Internet, One Site At A Time
By Dwip November 18, 2006 at 12:33 am Comments Off on Winning the Internet, One Site At A Time RSS Feed for this post

First Wikipedia, then the world! Also this, just ’cause. And a bit of gaming action, also just ’cause. NWN2 – I thought having to run through a wall of fire to get their guys was cool. It didn’t save them, but. And the extra-special “Yeah, BG2 is still cool.” shot. That’s from the Solaufien mod, and check out how many effect icons Sola has, anyway. That fight was more than just a little out of control, as you might be able to tell. Each of my mages (3) went in there with contigencies, spell triggers, and lesser spell triggers, plus other buff spells. I shot off something like 3 Abu-Dazim’s Horrid Wiltings, 6 Cloudkills, a couple of Teleport Fields, and […]


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Next Up, In Tonight’s World Domination News
By Dwip November 16, 2006 at 12:35 am Comments Off on Next Up, In Tonight’s World Domination News RSS Feed for this post

[03:27] Gormican: I’m raising Gnome the bunny to be EVIL its all part of my plan! [03:27] Dwip: With that name… [03:29] Gormican: soon he will grow into an evil Bunny and join the gnomes where he shall train in thier wily ways [03:30] Dwip: … [03:30] Gormican: then he will infiltrate the rabbit lair [03:30] Gormican: and subvert the female rabbits with his sexy James Bond style ines [03:30] Gormican: lines [03:31] Gormican: and slowly form a Rabbit rebellion force to overthrow thier leaders [03:31] Dwip: Bunny. James Bunny. [03:32] Gormican: but of course all his rebel forces will be powerless compared to his heroic mojo [03:32] Gormican: In a heroic manner he will free the rabbits and become […]


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Gaming Humor
By Dwip August 5, 2006 at 10:08 am Comments Off on Gaming Humor RSS Feed for this post

They’re funny ’cause they’re true. With a special “Mooooooo!” for Jason.


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Hard At Work
By Dwip June 22, 2006 at 9:09 pm Comments Off on Hard At Work RSS Feed for this post

Because I totally have nothing better to do at work than think these things up. Seriously. And now, a short play for your entertainment, inspired by the awesome Neal Stephenson book Quicksilver, which I suggest you read, because it’s clever. Very clever. Scene I Cabinet doors shop, afternoon. Loud machinery sounds in the background. KAREN enters from around the Sandmaster. Karen: Rails’re sanded, panels done. Building time draws nigh. Quick, I must away, ‘fore the gluing time approaches, and here come Pam and Erik. Exit KAREN; Enter PAM and Erik, pushing a cart of panels. Pam: But where did Karen go? Erik: Well, it was like this, see… Scene II Cabinet doors shop, afternoon. Oddly quiet. KAREN and ERIK are […]


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Braaaaaaap
By Dwip June 8, 2006 at 6:44 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Because you’ve gotta have something to do while sleep-deprived on a 12 hour shift at work, at thinking this up was as good as anything. With profuse apologies to Sam Cooke, but not to the hundreds of bots who died to bring you this: Well don’t you know That’s the sound of the men shooting with the chain gu-u-un That’s the sound of the men shooting with the chain gun All day long they’re shootin’ braaaaaap braaaaaap braaaaaap braaaaaap Well don’t you know That’s the sound of the men shooting with the chain gu-u-un That’s the sound of the men shooting with the chain gun All day long, they shoot so much ’till their Cobra’s goin’ down Shooting up the […]


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Fun With Spam
By Dwip May 18, 2006 at 7:46 pm Comments Off on Fun With Spam RSS Feed for this post

Since we’re all sitting here despamming our blogs, let us once again appreciate how much more awesome Regina’s spam is than my spam: [19:41] starflier06: But, like, ok. This is a piece of spam I just got: miniature horse beer for my horse trojan horse horse saddle draft horse horse race horse name horse adoption trick pony western saddle horse lover trick pony horse stalls horse ride barrel horse horse jewelry pony girl horse health horse photo horse free horse horse racing [19:42] starflier06: so i’ll take horse out of all links. but that’s a weird word to have to blacklist, y’know? [19:45] starflier06: Hey, here’s the sort of thing you like: In process of time, however, it seems to […]


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Will Work For Humor
By Dwip April 26, 2006 at 7:57 pm Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

A small sampling of work-related humor. I’d do the large sample, but I can’t really figure out the proper way to describe Joel and Carlos yet. Suffice it to say that Joel has nicknamed me Snake, and delights in yelling it from time to time at me, alternating with maniacal laughter. This is much more amusing than it sounds, even. As to work itself, well, that can be summed up by the fact that in two days we’ve had twenty-eight door rebuilds, mostly in-shop rejects caused by overwork by the understaffed assembly group, made worse by my being hauled off to sanding table for hours and days on end. This is, perhaps, worse than it sounds, and prompts a good […]


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In Conversation
By Dwip March 7, 2006 at 6:43 pm Comments Off on In Conversation RSS Feed for this post

Let’s see. So at work, somehow everyone’s having this conversation about puberty and balls dropping which somehow evolved from oral sex and nachos, and Tye walks by, and he’s like “Careful, or they might corrupt you.” “Oh,” I say, “I’m already far more corrupt than that.” LPSes to the razor-bladed dildo-shaped courtesy phone please, LPSes. In other news: Suzanne: linkage Me: Rock ON, I say. Where’d it come from? Her: The packaging on the exercise wheel I got my rats Me: Too awesome. Her: thought you might like that. Me: It’s just so…perfect.


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Your PA Calls Will Be Graded
By Dwip March 2, 2006 at 7:20 pm Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

With a nod to John Scalzi for having a good title to steal, I will now entertain you with how we entertain ourselves at work. But first, since I need to vent, let’s describe the end of today. So, imagine you have 3 sets of doors, A, B, and C. They are all the exact same, except door B is 1/8″ wider than door A, and C is 1/8″ taller than door A. Given parts to these sets of doors, which turn out not to have been sorted correctly together, make the doors. Yeah, not so easy. Why it was so hard to make them all the same size is beyond me. Now, to add to that, we have this […]


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So we’re all hanging out
By Dwip February 27, 2006 at 6:41 pm Comments Off on So we’re all hanging out RSS Feed for this post

So we’re all hanging out on the MUD… You say ‘So, for today’s humor moment.’ You say ‘We’re all standing around doing work, and over the PA comes “Ron Jeremy, please dial 8130, Ron Jeremy.” about 5 times.’ Whir says ‘ROFL’ Samson says ‘I fail to see the humor’ Whir says ‘For some reason, I’m surprised you know who Ron Jeremey is.’ Whir says ‘Samson, OTOH, obviously doesn’t.’ Samson says ‘because I’m a heathen scum, of course’ Whir says ‘Or you don’t watch porn.’ Samson says ‘As if I care what their names are’ Whir says ‘It’s not that you don’t care what their names are, Mein Furher, it’s that everyone ever has heard of Ron Jeremy.’ Samson says ‘obviously […]


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And On the Fifth Day, We Rested
By Dwip January 14, 2006 at 12:06 am Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Conversations around the household today: *Morning, as Mom leaves for a day in Eugene* Mom: So, what are you doing today? Me: As little as humanly possible. Mom: I see. *Evening, as Mom returns* Mom: So, what did you do today? Me: I played video games ALL DAY. Later, I will play video games ALL NIGHT. Mom: So you didn’t do anything productive today? Me: Well, I totally saved Tatooine. I’m about to save some Wookies, too. Mom: I see. *Dad enters* Dad: So, did anybody call? Mom: Nope, no messages. Dad: Good. Mom: Tell me about it. *a short pause* Mom: That made us sound really anti-social, didn’t it?


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Quotable
By Dwip December 22, 2005 at 10:06 pm Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

6 player Civ games are never going to be in my future again, I think. OTOH, Regina was funny tonight, and didn’t try to deny it this time, so: [21:15] TontoMarius: Well, do I look like a plucky Japanese schoolgirl to you? [21:15] starflier06: *falls over laughing* [21:15] starflier06: cosplay! [21:16] starflier06: You’d look so cute with the pigtails! [21:17] starflier06: why is it that these days, i find myself making bizarre statements for your amusement? [21:17] starflier06: Not that you mind, I’m sure, but. [21:35] starflier06: I should get food and stuff. [21:35] TontoMarius: That was a really me comment. [21:36] starflier06: heh. [21:36] TontoMarius: “Like, oh yeah. Food.” [21:36] starflier06: heh [21:37] starflier06: i had toast for dinner […]


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The Revolution Has Begun!
By Dwip November 5, 2005 at 12:50 pm Comments Off on The Revolution Has Begun! RSS Feed for this post

The first strikes in our campaign against the tyrranical human kulak burgoisie huntist-capitalist oppressors have been made! Viva la revolucion! Courtesy of Regina’s mom, who’s awesome for continuing to find this stuff, and Regina, who keeps awesomely forwarding it to me: IS IT POSSIBLE IT’S NOT THE BIRDS? [Warren Bell] Is it maybe the deer? Have the formerly innocent-appearing woodland creatures used the avian menace as a cover, all the while lulling us into a perilously false state of ease? A deer goes after Gov. Tim Pawlenty, breaking windows. A deer attacks a home in Arkansas, breaking windows. A deer rampages in a hospital in Michigan, breaking windows. All in the last three days? I’m no conspiracy theorist, but this […]


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Random Verbage
By Dwip September 30, 2005 at 5:45 pm Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

I think about 3 people who read this blog will understand the full impact of this whole thing, but I guess we’ve turned the phrase “wash the dog” into a sort of verb. Witness: Cole: Yeah, sorry for not showing up earlier. I kind of got wash the dogged. Y eah, you have to be one of those three people. But it’s funny if you are.


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Overheard At The Gaming Table
By Dwip September 25, 2005 at 11:30 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

*I walk in the door* Me: Hey y’all. Mel: Yeah, so the hamster thing was kind of disturbing. Me: Well, yeah, a little. I have a warped sense of humor. Chad: That was an interesting greeting. “Hi.” “The hamster thing was disturbing.” *insert chortling* Somewhat later… Somebody: So what’s the plan? Me: Let’s build a steam powered submarine, sail it to the evil nation of undead ruled by a dragon God-king, and take it over. We can do it. We’re level 2. Everybody: No. Somewhat later… *I’m reading a handout* Me: So under the Cygnar entry. Is this “War-caster Nemo” guy important? Matt: No, not at all. Why? Me: So we don’t have to go find Nemo or anything? Matt: […]


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For Your Low-Cost Fighting Needs
By Dwip September 22, 2005 at 8:24 pm Comments Off on For Your Low-Cost Fighting Needs RSS Feed for this post

This is about the funniest thing I’ve seen in days.


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In the Epic Struggle…
By Dwip September 5, 2005 at 7:13 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

…between rabbits, and, well, rabbits… Dad: Oh yeah. Seeing your blog reminded me. The black rabbit clan won. Me: The what? Dad: Well, in this park where we went, the last time we were there, there were tons of rabbits of all different colors. We come back this time, nothing but black rabbits. So the black rabbit clan won. Little did those poor other rabbits know, they stumbled on the secret rabbit ninja training grounds…


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Vintage Entertainment
By Dwip September 2, 2005 at 5:21 pm Comments Off on Vintage Entertainment RSS Feed for this post

Harking back to the mechanized days of yore, I was digging around in my Trillian message archives looking for something totally different, and found this old conversation of Cole’s and mine: [01:58] Dwip: Time to jot that down on the list, along with the 9×9 volcano map. [01:58] Dwip: I mean, not that we’ll ever PLAY on a 9×9 volcano map, but it would be kind of cool. [01:58] Clyos: 9×9 volcano map? ummm….. that’s a little out of control you realize, we’d need like ww2 shufflboard sticks for that [01:59] Dwip: Er, 3×3 [01:59] Dwip: 9×9. Aeeyah. [01:59] Clyos: ok, 3×3 i can handle [01:59] Dwip: I can’t even comprehend a 9×9 map game. [02:00] Dwip: Like, it’s the […]


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OBEY THE BIG VOICE.
By Dwip August 18, 2005 at 5:43 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

For you Wheel of Time readers in the audience, I encourage you to read these plot summaries, because they are funny. In fact, I encourage you all to read them, because much of what goes on is universally amusing. If nothing else, you need to browse down to the Lord of Chaos one and read the first part, because it’s the funniest thing on the Internet since the WWII as an RTS thing. Anyway. So I had a day today, which is aptly described by a conversation I had with Whir earlier: Me: You know, today was considerably less fun than it could’ve been. Whir: Oh? Me: Yeah. So I’m doing more mowing up the hill, see. And it’s all […]


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The Best of Marechalisms
By Dwip August 13, 2005 at 2:08 pm Comments Off on The Best of Marechalisms RSS Feed for this post

Since we all love Marechal quotes, and since Regina asked me to put this together, I present to you the best Marechal quotes from my ICQ logs, 2001-2003. Let the tomahawking commence!


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Ph34r Teh Squirr3l Ones
By Dwip August 9, 2005 at 9:10 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

Suzanne: Also! on this subject! Interesting coincidence: wed. last week my co-worker and I were attacked by a baby squirrel. Then the very next day at work I found a rabbit skeleton. Me: Drat. You’ve discovered the squirrel-rabbit zombie conspiricy. You must be destroyed! Suzanne: Really, the baby squirrel was almost unbearbly cute Me: It’s a stealth mechanism. You say “Oh! How cute!” And you reach down to pet it, and it runs up your arm and rips your throat out. Fear the baby squirrel assassins. Suzanne: This one must’ve been a rookie. All he did was run in front of the car, and then when we stopped and got out to see if we hit it, sniffed our shoes. […]


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Proving the Point
By Dwip August 4, 2005 at 11:07 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

We’re going to abuse some context fairly hard here, but bear with us. *talking about American Pie* [17:35] starflier06: That title is a desecration of a good song, btw. [17:36] TontoMarius: Yes, but since I desecrate a whole lot of songs daily, I can’t really complain. Now, just to prove a point to Regina, here, let us snag the contents of various random ICQs to Whir about the status of my latest game of Civ. Though I can claim with some confidence that this latest round is Whir’s fault: *Talking about me beating up some Vikings* Whir: Despite all the Vikings’ rage, they are still just going to die. (Smashing Pumpkins, Bullet With Butterfly Wings) *Talking about me about to […]


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Ph34r!
By Dwip August 3, 2005 at 7:58 pm Comments (6) RSS Feed for this post

You scored as Yuki. You are Yuki! Kimiko 70% Yuki 70% Miho 70% Erika 65% Piro 60% Seraphim 60% Dom 55% Largo 25% Which Megatokyo Character Are You?created with QuizFarm.com Yeah, I don’t know what I think about that, exactly. Yuki or Kimiko… Or Miho of all people. [edit] And I quote: Me: Ph34r t3h bloggage! Ph34r! With great ph34r! Whir: Neg. I’m too busy breaking my skull on sub timing. Me: This will amuse you a lot, I promise. Whir: If I don’t get this done, I’ll be packed into a 2lb coffee can and set adrift in the arctic sea. Me: Sweet! Me: I’m pretty sure you’ll laugh your ass off, though. *time passes* Whir: OMFG Whir: OMFG […]


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Utterly Devoid of Context
By Dwip August 3, 2005 at 4:16 pm Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

Since Regina’s been fairly amusing lately, as she is wont to do from time to time… [13:08] starflier06: oh, and i got him hooked on u2. [13:08] starflier06: bwahahaha. [13:08] starflier06: it was awesome [15:40] starflier06: So you start in Sept., eh? [15:40] TontoMarius: Yeah. Like the 6th. [15:40] starflier06: When I start, too. [15:40] starflier06: Haha. You and I will be starting HS together! *cracks up* [16:09] starflier06: You give yourself to this, the longest day… [16:09] starflier06: Yo, I typed that AT THE SPEED of the music. [16:09] starflier06: I am t3h aw3s0m3. So you see that our corruption begins to take hold. W00t.


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When Squirrels Attack
By Dwip July 28, 2005 at 9:22 pm Comments Off on When Squirrels Attack RSS Feed for this post

This. RIGHT HERE. CLICK IT. CLICK IT NOW.


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Comicage
By Dwip July 28, 2005 at 3:29 am Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

So we read the latest Megatokyo. And we say to ourselves, “Archie Meets the Punisher? This I must see.” So we browse random forum threads on the subject. Damned if it ain’t true. But then we dug deeper. And we were horrified by what we found. I mean, you know, at some point, words fail. These are worth browsing through for a laugh. And you know, it’s not like comic book reading was at all a part of my childhood, here, and it’s not like I read anything vaguely like them except MT and Penny Arcade, but yeah. I dunno. I just dunno.


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Teh Funny
By Dwip July 22, 2005 at 3:42 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

This is like the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks. Maybe ever. I’m having AoK flashbacks. [edit – pasting whole thing here just ’cause] If World War Two had been an RTS game, it would have gone a little something like this…. *Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.* *Eisenhower has joined the game.* *paTTon has joined the game.* *Churchill has joined the game.* *benny-tow has joined the game.* *T0J0 has joined the game.* *Roosevelt has joined the game.* *Stalin has joined the game.* *deGaulle has joined the game.* Roosevelt: hey sup T0J0: y0 Stalin: hi Churchill: hi Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks! paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks T0JO: lol Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression! […]


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Minionhood
By Dwip June 28, 2005 at 11:54 pm Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

Regina never ever ever gets to say I never quote her ever again. Ever. Got that? Good. [17:03] starflier06: heya. [17:04] TontoMarius: ‘lo ‘lo. [17:04] starflier06: Anyway, you. [17:04] TontoMarius: Me. [17:04] starflier06: I figured out your scheme and I’m not having any part of it. [17:04] TontoMarius: It. [17:04] TontoMarius: Them. [17:04] TontoMarius: Roo? [17:04] starflier06: You’re going to indoctrinate me, bit by bit, with all your movies, music, and cultural references. [17:04] starflier06: Until I am your minion. [17:04] starflier06: Then I will become your pawn in the you v. marechal games of power. I see where this is heading! [17:05] TontoMarius: Agh! She’s discovered secret plan 36J! [17:05] TontoMarius: Damage control! Damage control! [17:05] starflier06: Do you […]


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Mechanical Anomolies
By Dwip June 28, 2005 at 9:11 pm Comments Off on Mechanical Anomolies RSS Feed for this post

Right, so about that update thing. Since absolutely nothing of interest has occurred in life in the past few days except that I ran the tractor out of diesel, and how exciting is that, I shall simply post excerpts of the ICQ conversation Cam and I had. And you shall fall down in amazement. Or something. … Me: Also the guys to pump the gas for us, which sure is great, because you don’t want to see me try to do it. IT GOES EVERYWHERE. Cam: Gas ranks on the low end of difficulty you know. Me: My incompetence with fuel knows no bounds. Well, ok. I was doing great until I had to rescue the cap to the diesel […]


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Horrid, Yet Strangely Amusing
By Dwip June 21, 2005 at 12:40 am Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

Jason will be purged for providing me with this link, come the Revolution. Purged for being the kulak burgoisie capitalist exploiter of peaceful working rabbits that he is. Click Me!


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Textual Harassment
By Dwip June 12, 2005 at 11:33 pm Comments Off on Textual Harassment RSS Feed for this post

Our title is, apparently, somebody’s name on the MT forums. Just so you know. In tribute to our misbegotten MUDing past, I quote Cole: “something of note, i just threatened Xorith with the spamming of his e-mail addy with ads from “Cam’s Lesbian Puking Sheep and Razor Bladed Dildo Emporium”” Maybe you had to be there, back in the day. But the same mind that gave rise to the squirrel aliens also came up with the LPSes and the RBD. Fear. With great fear.


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Heathenry
By Dwip June 3, 2005 at 5:53 pm Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

Clyos: our chocolate gummie bears pwnzorz all you stand for Clyos: or sit for Me: Since I stand for sour gummi bears, no. Clyos: choclate covered gummie bears r0x0rz j00 Me: Our sour gummi bears do not tolerate such heathenry. Clyos: at a dollar a pound, they cant’ do a damn thing about it Me: No, they can use the word “heathenry” in a sentence. You lose. Clyos: Bah, my gummies wield the vorpral blade of cholately goodness Me: *snicker* Because, as Whir said, “Chocolate gummie bears? Who’s the blasphemer who’d ruin a good gummie bear by covering it in chocolate?”


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Cavort to the Music (Live)
By Dwip May 17, 2005 at 6:30 pm Comments (5) RSS Feed for this post

We might even find some robot slaves, too, if we’re lucky. Because, as we all know, we’re all about robot slaves and free food and all that. However, we are not all about driving on I-5 between semis, nor are we about Continental Airlines, which is perhaps the worst airline I have had the misfortune to take in recent memory. But the tickets were cheap, and I got to sleep on the plane, so whatever. As it happens, I ran into a couple of guys from Portland while trying to make the train ticket machine spit my $3 back up, both of whom had made the same midnight flight from Portland to Houston, then to Philadelphia. Small world. To make […]


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The Infallibility of Youth
By Dwip April 28, 2005 at 2:51 am Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

This, besides being a comedic gold mine the likes of which bash.org can only gape at in awe, is also a reminder that Whir should probably make his archives pages spiffier and get them to, say, match the rest of his site. Now, off to see about some deer cavortation. [edit – Placing a copy here for great justice] Whir: This one kid thinks that he has the answers for a utopian society, and that “old farts” like me are just ruining it because we don’t care about the younger generation. Whir: One of his ideas, mind you, includes printing fake “real” money and ruining the value of the dollar so that people realize that money is evil. Whir: I’ve […]


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Napoleon Tauntage
By Dwip April 26, 2005 at 7:37 pm Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

We’re on a roll today. Quoth Whir: We need to have an entire website dedicated to Marechal conversations. Me: Napoleon lost, though. Besides, he completely subverted the Revolution. Which isn’t to say that the Revolution didn’t need subverting, but when the whole goal of the thing is to ESCAPE monarchy, well. But it’s, you know, the French. Can’t do anything right. Marechal: Napoleon abolished the monarchy! Me: Yeah, you could sort of say he did. Except then he set himself up, which sort of, you know, defeats the purpose. Marechal: As Emperor. Me: Because, you know, changing the name makes your dictatorship that much better than other, wannabe dictatorships. Me: Whir: Ask him how he feels about giant airships, steam-powered […]


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The Evils of Drink
By Dwip March 6, 2005 at 2:58 am Comments (5) RSS Feed for this post

Assorted random and mostly out of context conversation between Cole and myself. Yes, I know I’m an evil bastard. Cole: dude,,. i’m plowed to shit, you ba ve bnow idea Me: Well, if I didn’t before, I sure do now. I mean, given the spelling of that thing you just sent me and all. Cole: yeabh, i heugss Cole: or guess as the ase mayb e Cole: *case Cole: keep in mind i don’t have my gleasses on so i can’t see the screen Me: heugss? Look, I’ve heard of beer goggles, but that’s a little extreme. Cole: the fact of the matter is that i shgould go to bed but i’ Cole: m reall6 easted ah have no idea […]


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“K-U-RYE-T-A”
By Dwip March 3, 2005 at 2:40 am Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

So tonight’s random entertainment is like this: 1. Open up Acrobat Reader. Make sure you have the latest version. 2. Open up some sort of text PDF. If it’s one with a lot of screwy words/slang, foreign languages, or both, so much the better. 3. Go to the View menu, find Read Out Loud, and have at it. “Blood Spirit PraaaaaahtoMech Pilot” Whee. Too bad I’m still sick.


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Moo. Moo moo moo, moo.
By Dwip December 3, 2004 at 4:21 am Comments Off on Moo. Moo moo moo, moo. RSS Feed for this post

I’m sitting here listening to some tapes I taped off the oldies radio like, oh, back in 1992 or so. I decided to finally discover what the names to all these songs are, because most of them having been bugging me for like 10 years now. As it turns out, I had awful taste when I was 12. I mean, the Limbo Rock. Come on, self. Along with a couple of songs I hated, even back then, which is why they’re on both tapes. Then there’s a couple times when I forgot I was recording, went off and did something else, and caught entire commercial breaks from 1992. We were not brilliant when we were young. OTOH, there’s enough Steppenwolf, […]


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Right Then…
By Dwip October 9, 2004 at 9:35 pm Comments Off on Right Then… RSS Feed for this post

For those of you thinking my sense of humor is somewhat bizzare, you are wrong. You have yet to read Fafblog. Yeah.


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Mysterious Ways
By Dwip August 20, 2004 at 6:42 pm Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

I’ve always wanted to do this, so… Yes, I’ve always wanted some strange, strange things. And if you’re good, I promise entertainment at the end. Having done that, I spent some time pondering the whole U2 singles thing. All will become clear upon browsing, say, here and here. This is made somewhat worse by the fact that nobody’s names for all these things bears any relation to each other/reality/something useful. But I eventually figured something out. And, as it turns out, I’m not doing too bad. It’s like this. I have: While I have the albums in question, I’m obviously missing all the singles, with no way to get them because they’re all OOP. From Achtung Baby: The Fly Mysterious […]


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Fake Bloggage
By Dwip August 5, 2004 at 2:29 pm Comments Off on Fake Bloggage RSS Feed for this post

I’ll attempt to say something real at some point later, but for the moment, here’s a damn funny Bushism.


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Alien
By Dwip July 21, 2004 at 1:46 am Comments Off on Alien RSS Feed for this post

Cole, your sheep do not care about you. They have left you here to die. Cole, your sheep fall from the sky like broken birds. Little in joke there. Also, Blue Shift is WAY the hell too short. Only took me 3 hours to beat. Ah well. Now I’ll just have to play Thief or something. Also, a slight bit of info, for those of you who actually email me: Email is changed to dwip at afkmud dot net, for values of net = com. And the spammers in the audience can just go fuck themselves. It doesn’t need to be longer, and it doesn’t need to be harder. I don’t need any more xanax. I don’t need to refinance […]


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And Now, For Something Completely Different
By Dwip July 12, 2004 at 6:16 pm Comments (9) RSS Feed for this post

Firstly, the Viking Invasion part of today, wherein I write war stories of my conquests. Secondly, I shall quote Cole: Me: Fucking ICQ. Cole: can’t say as that’s something i’d like to try Me: No, not really. Cole: i haven’t seen the proper port specifications to even try Cole: “so, what, you want to try the parallel port this time?”


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The Origin of the Species
By Dwip March 16, 2004 at 6:42 pm Comments Off on The Origin of the Species RSS Feed for this post

You say ‘Ok. Some ramblings about Darwin, and that’ll do it.’ Whir says ‘Darwin? That guy wasn’t right about anything.’ You say ‘Poor Darwin. He gets so beat on.’ Whir says ‘Well if he had realized that our entire existance was machined by a far superior alien race, I’d give him a little more credit.’ You say ‘Squirrel aliens might have been a bit much for poor Darwin.’ Whir says ‘True.’


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A Hard Day’s Night
By Dwip March 12, 2004 at 7:13 am Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

So, as far as the whole paper thing goes, I think this email I just sent to Tali and Laurent about sums things up: Tricksy paperses! We hates them, precious! We hates them! Filled with nasty quoteses and nasty citeses, yes precious. Nasty, nasty quoteses. *gollum* They hurts us, precious, yes they does. *gollum* The tricksy footnotes, they hurts our brains, don’t they precious? Yes, yes precious, they hurts us. *gollum* But we’ll make them pay, precious, won’t we? Yes, precious. Yes we will. *gollum* *gollum* Hurty quotses and citeses and footnoteses. We’ll make them all pay, precious! It’s due today, though, so with just a bit more pain, it’ll all be over. And then I’ve got 7 pages for […]


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Drown
By Dwip March 1, 2004 at 1:09 am Comments (5) RSS Feed for this post

Sorry if nobody but Whir and I had a clue what I was talking about last entry. I don’t usually get to revel in my CC2 geekdom much, however. Anyway. 7 more pages of the paper due on Tuesday. That’s going to suck, but I’m a lot more prepared now than I was. It’s still going to mean a lot of pain tomorrow, but I survived Wednesday, I can survive tomorrow. Well, I sort of survived, at any rate. I went a little loopy there at the end, as the following email will show you: (It is, I note, my tradition to send out weekly “It is now the weekend. We will do stuff.” emails to Tali and Laurent. This […]


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Erk.
By Dwip February 26, 2004 at 8:38 am Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

KILL THE EVIL PAPER! RAISE THE BANNER OF REVOLUTION! DOWN WITH THE TYRRANY OF SCHOOL! STUDENTS OF THE WORLD, UNITE! DESTROY YOUR HOMEWORK! Right. Anyway. Been up since like 1pm yesterday, have a 3 page chunk of my 20 pager due in like, 2 hours, and the GODDAMN MAIN SOURCE I WAS USING DECIDED TO CRASH ON ME. KILL! KILL! Sorry. Working on that. Really. The stick is helping a lot. It’s a big stick. A very nice stick, as sticks go. Sort of hurty, or so I’m given to understand. I wouldn’t know personally, you understand. I’m not hitting myself with it.


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Thine Attempt To Ford the River Hath Failed…
By Dwip February 17, 2004 at 10:01 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Lame as the jokes are, many of these are pretty funny. Given certain conversations recently, the Oregon Trail ones were funny as hell.


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Daily Humor
By Dwip January 24, 2004 at 6:47 pm Comments Off on Daily Humor RSS Feed for this post

Samson’s fault for finding these and forcing me to laugh. 31. The proper name of Methyltheobromine is caffeine, not ‘Holy life-giving fluid that is all we require for life’. (The blogger notes that this is a lie.) 97. ‘MECHWARRIOR_4_SERVER’ is not an authorized process to be running on the company’s main router. 302. Mountain Dew is not radioactive and I should not tell Bob that it is. (Also a lie. With that kind of taste, it MUST be an Iraqi WMD reject substance) 304. Large sticks are not used in the repairing of computer technology. Ever. (Lies. Ever seen that picture of a duck holding a hammer over a computer?) The relevant forum thread is here.


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Happy Birthday To Meeeee…
By Dwip December 12, 2003 at 9:08 am Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

So, yeah. Not only are finals done, I’m 23. Uh, yay. Er, about that. So I get home last night, and I’m all talking to Mom, and she’s like “Oh, by the way. Your package from Amazon is on your bed.” “What package from Amazon?” “I dunno, whatever it is you ordered.” “But I didn’t order anything.” “Well, obviously you must have if you’ve got a package.” “No, but I’ll check it out anyway.” Sure enough, there’s this package on my bed. Huh. Go back in, open it up. Inside is…a book. A book on how to be Evil. Now, I’m for evil as much as the next guy, but… “Uh, Mom? I didn’t order this, you know.” So I […]


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Happiness Is A Dead Paper
By Dwip December 4, 2003 at 5:23 am Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

My evening has been aptly summed up by a comment I made to Whir earlier: Dwip: Grrrrg. CAFFIENE BIOS VERSION 2.1 CAP ERROR. PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE. INITIALIZING SYSTEMS…DONE WELCOME TO CONCIOUSNESS. Dwip: Ahhhhh… Happy. Cherry Coke good. I forget how much stress totally screws with my system. Then I hit the end of the term, and I remember. Sleep 3 hours, up for 4, sleep 3, up 4… that needs to end. It’s of course made worse by the fact that I only seem to function by procrastinating like mad until suddenly 5 hours before the paper is due (we’re at 7, right now, and page 5 of 12), I go into Zen Paper Writing Mode, everything falls […]


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In the Arms of Sleep
By Dwip November 12, 2003 at 10:02 am Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

So I went to bed at 1am because I’m really tired, and wake up at 3am. What the hell? Stop that, self. Stop it right now. I’d love to have something fun and interesting to report, but no, ‘fraid not. But I’ve remembered an episode from the weekend. So we’re in the theater for the Matrix. Before the movie, they play this little clip with this Hollywood stuntman talking about how making movies takes all this time and effort and how piracy totally cheapens that. So some guy shouts out “I’m gonna go home and download that!” Vast applause erupts in the theater. Did I mention that our showing was like all college kids? Yeah.


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Dazed and Confused
By Dwip October 21, 2003 at 12:20 am Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

Every time I think I’ve seen it all, life blindsides me with another one. I mean, the head of Richard Nixon on the body of a dog to promote a download accelerator on ICQ?


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Stranger In A Strange Land
By Dwip October 9, 2003 at 8:18 pm Comments (2) RSS Feed for this post

More Marechalisms. Him, then me, etc. The HRE in the 16th century is fascinating. I want to delve more into that. Luther’s Reformation. THE Charles V. Maximilian. Wallenstein. White Mountain. Mohacs. Gustavus Adolphus’ mixed legions. Rise of the glorious and honorable mode of warfare, although not quite so evident during the Rennaisance. That was like the in-between stage of warfare. Awkward introduction of gunpowder. Old meets the new. Etc. The Thirty Years War is SO not honorable in any way shape or form. But yeah. I do want to do some reading on the period. Need a good general history of France, and a good general history of Spain, and a good general history of Germany. Right, well, yeah, the […]


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Diary of a Madrabbit
By Dwip October 9, 2003 at 8:07 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

In lieu of ranting about life again, which involved me A, hating class a lot and B, running into a number of interesting women, I shall post this rather more interesting snippet of conversation from Alsherok. No, it makes no sense. No, it doesn’t need to. You say ‘Info: Belamon (11) killed by A Giant Rabbit at 5452’ You say ‘Once more, the freedom fighters strike a blow against the tyrranical opressors.’ You say ‘Join us! Rise against the tyrranical opressors! Fight the power! Fuck the police! Kill adventurers! Power to the rabbits!’ A Giant Rabbit chats ‘Rise up against the oppressors! Revolt! Revolt! Raise the banner of revolution!’ A Giant Rabbit points at Belamon accusingly. A Giant Rabbit chats […]


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And the Trogdor Comes in the Niiiight!
By Dwip September 26, 2003 at 10:18 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Speaking of burnination, this was way too much fun. http://www.homestarrunner.com/trogdor.html


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While We’re Plugging Movies…
By Dwip September 12, 2003 at 12:26 am Comments Off on While We’re Plugging Movies… RSS Feed for this post

This is likewise hilarious in its own special way, though if you’re easily offended by the idea of suburban Japanese families trying to act like they’re down in the ‘hood, complete with the requisite language, this maybe isn’t your thing. Or just don’t let Mom catch you watching it. :P


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Think Amusement
By Dwip September 12, 2003 at 12:07 am Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

This is the best thing I’ve seen in weeks. Really.


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Cult of Personality
By Dwip August 31, 2003 at 3:49 pm Comments (5) RSS Feed for this post

Because Toast wanted me to post this. Not as funny as it might’ve been, and I didn’t ACTUALLY call Nappy a loser, but oh well. Marechal: What a life Napoleon led. One day he is an underpaid foreign officer without an appointment… then he was a European Emperor ruling from Lisbon to Warsaw, Vienna, Paris, Rome, and all of Europe at his feet and a million soldiers under his banners…. and then he’s a lonely, poor old man on a God-forsaken rock in the south Atlantic. Wow. Me: And of those, one is a good career goal. :P Marechal: Just … amazing story. Two human stories, above all else, fascinate me. The story of our Lord Jesus Christ and the […]


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Star Wars, Attack of the Humor
By Dwip August 15, 2003 at 3:22 am Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

Whir will recognize this, as I’ve copied this from an ICQ conversation we had. Me: Linkage Whir: The Palpatine Rabbit. Heh. Me: *grin* *shoots lightning* Er, drat. You didn’t see that. Can’t let my secret out yet… Me: As I’ve got this imagine of this gigantic rabbit, made up in Darth Maul colors, wielding a big red light saber and kicking ass. Darth Fuzzy, if you will. A gentler, kinder Sith Lord. The choice of a new generation, perhaps. I mean, gotta get all those kids up into the Empire, right? Whir: Did you take some medication, or something? Me: Just utilizing my twisted mind for the betterment of rabbits everywhere. Well, ok. Considering Palpatine gets tossed off the balcony, […]


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When Advertising Ruled the World
By Dwip July 29, 2003 at 7:14 pm Comments Off on When Advertising Ruled the World RSS Feed for this post

Dad sent me this. Amusing. http://home.comcast.net/~bernhard36/honda-ad.html


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Spam!
By Dwip June 26, 2003 at 7:54 pm Comments Off on Spam! RSS Feed for this post

This is pretty damn funny, if I do say so myself.


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Heh. Heh. Heh.
By Dwip June 24, 2003 at 7:19 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

I always told myself I would never put one of those test things up here, but oh well. The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell – The City of Dis!Here is how you matched up against all the levels: Level Score Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) High Level 2 (Lustful) Moderate Level 3 (Gluttonous) Moderate Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Moderate Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Moderate Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) Very High Level 7 (Violent) Moderate Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Moderate Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) Moderate Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test


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LifeMUD
By Dwip June 9, 2003 at 1:18 am Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

This will likely make no sense to you if you don’t play MUDs, but oh well. With blame…er…credit to Samson and myself. When bored imms attack. Welcome to LifeMUD. Please choose a race. 1) Human Please choose a class. 1) Worker Drone Please wait while statistics and a name are generated for you. The immortals have assigned you the name ‘Melvin’ and you cannot change it. Enjoy your stay on LifeMUD! You are in a sterile-looking hospital room. Your mother is here. A nurse is here. You are hungry. You are thirsty. You wield a scalpel. Your pierce OBLITERATES your mother! Your mother is dead! RIP. A nurse’s backhand CRUSHES you! The world fades to black… > chat hey! All […]


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In the Land of the Paperless…
By Dwip May 30, 2003 at 1:53 am Comments Off on In the Land of the Paperless… RSS Feed for this post

The man who was finished one of his papers is king. Or something. The important thing here is that I finished my Magruder textbook paper. I’m sort of proud of it, except where I’m not. I’m not sure how well it passes on the essence of the whole thing in 5 pages, but whatever. It will all make sense in the end. Now I get to write one on Soviet prison camps in the 1930s. That’ll be exciting. Also, I offer up a website, and a quote. The website And the quote, in reference to the book that’s based on the website, or something. “It also doesn’t really end, so much as it jerks abruptly to a halt like an […]


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You have two rabbits…
By Dwip May 16, 2003 at 9:46 am Comments (6) RSS Feed for this post

Soviet humor: [a group of rabbits are attempting to flee the USSR to Poland] Border Guard: Why do you wish to leave? Rabbit: The GPU has given orders to arrest every camel in the Soviet Union. Border Guard: But you are not camels! Rabbit: Just try telling that to the GPU.


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Laugh of the Day
By Dwip May 14, 2003 at 7:47 pm Comments (3) RSS Feed for this post

This is Whir’s fault, really. http://www.drunktv.com/flash/icon.swf


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New Highs in Advertising
By Dwip May 9, 2003 at 10:03 pm Comments Off on New Highs in Advertising RSS Feed for this post

Just saw this as an ICQ ad. I love ICQ ads. “Cyber love can go ALL the way!” Yeeeeeaaaaaaaah.


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Heh
By Dwip May 9, 2003 at 11:09 am Comments Off on Heh RSS Feed for this post

With some form of apologies attached, I offer two quotes: “Jesus saves, and and takes half damage.” “Jesus saves, roll for initiative.” It’s a D&D thing.


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keyboard_death_sucks
By Dwip April 19, 2003 at 11:58 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

as_does_typing_with_character_map.stupid_pop_spill.RRG!


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Heh
By Dwip April 18, 2003 at 2:27 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

So he does this of his own free will. And I quote: Whir plays with barbies.


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Heh
By Dwip April 14, 2003 at 4:37 pm Comments (1) RSS Feed for this post

Whir is no longer afk. Whir chats ‘We’re generally known as AFKMUD for a very good reason. :P’ Whir is now afk.


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When Jokes Go Horribly Wrong
By Dwip April 1, 2003 at 8:24 pm Comments (4) RSS Feed for this post

First there was Joan of Orc. Then there was Orcsama bin Laden. Then came Orcsef Stalin, Saddam Orcsein, Georc W. Bush, Bill Clintorc, Jaques Chirorc, Mao Zeorc, Adorc Hitler, and Winston Churchorc. Cole, this is all your fault. Rumors of my coming up with everything but Joan of Orc are a vicious lie. So are the rumors about my having way too much free time. In all seriousness though, what free time? Tonight’s homework: Stalin Book #1: pgs 1-7 Stalin Book #2: pgs xviii-49 And as much of 3xPlutarch’s Lives Greece Book #1: pgs 162-219, 346-386 as I can get done. And that’s just the first day. And that’s not counting the 40 pages worth of papers or the work […]


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